Yesterday, my sister and I were walking towards my car in the parking lot of our local Target store when a lady and her daughter came up to us all of the suddenly with a bunch of fake flowers. My sister started to tell the lady that we didn’t have any cash on us, but the lady said, “Excuse me,” and my sister stared at her for a fraction of a second and said, “Go ahead.” The lady then proceeded to tell us that she didn’t mean us any harm, but she needed money. Again, we told her that we didn’t have any cash on us and she said ok and bee-lined in the direction of a woman putting her cart away across the parking lot.
If she startled us by coming seemingly out of nowhere, I’m sure the lady putting her cart away was going to have a shock, especially since she was by herself.
I was only in England for a year, but I rarely came across a situation where someone came up to me and begged for money. Sure, I gave money to individuals who were playing their instruments in the corridors of the Underground and occasionally to the Poppy Appeal when I saw a jar for money, but I never saw individuals begging for money in parking lots. The only time I witnessed someone begging for money was while I was on a return train to Egham from London with the rest of the five o’clock crowd.
A disheveled looking man was going through our car and saying, “Merry Christmas everyone! I don’t mean to bother anyone, but I need some money to pay for my next train fare. Merry Christmas!” Ok, I’ll say it, maybe I’m a naïve Yankee, but I started to pull out my coin purse and get some change for the guy when I noticed that no one around me was doing the same. Everyone was avoiding the guy and hastily putting newspapers in front of their faces or burying their noses in a book. By the time he got to my section of seats, I looked away and pretended not to notice the man asking for money.
Not ten minutes later, the conductor’s voice sounded over the intercom of the train and announced that if we see a beggar on any of the trains, we should report them immediately since they usually don’t have a ticket in the first place. By giving money to these individuals, it only encourages them to board trains and beg from one car to the next. Talk about being reprimanded by someone, I didn’t know what to think. On one hand, you want to help the person, but on the other, you don’t want to encourage them to break the law by boarding trains without tickets.
Unlike my stay in England, I never have cash on my person in the U.S. I’m convinced that it must be a cultural aspect of my generation, we either have one or the other, but hardly ever both. We are definitely a ‘plastic’ generation.
So my question is, what do you for people in these situations? You would love to help out, but you also know that it is unlawful for these people to be panhandling in parking lots. And whether you like to admit or not, part of you is thinking that they might be using the money people give them for something other than the necessities of life.
I wish there was an easy answer to my question, but I don’t think there is one. If anything, it would be nice if when security guards see panhandlers in parking lots, they suggest to them any of the local shelters, churches, or food banks in the area that could help out. What do you think? Would that work? Hmm….
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Sometimes it is hard for some people to tell what is fact and what is fiction when it comes to panhandlers. Usually people selling flowers, sell real flowers and not artificial. First clue that this may be real panhandling. Second clue is the use of a child to play on your sympathy. But then, some people are truly in need. Our area does have a lot of agencies that will help. Refer individuals to the local Salvation Army. Another option would be to refer them inside the store to the manager and let him handle the situation. Usually that will tell you whether there is a need or this is an easy ploy for money. In any event, our nation has an economic problem that is far reaching and you will never know how many people you will see trying to survive.
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